My oldest is 8 years old this year and I’m proud to say we have never been caught up in trying to find the most popular Christmas toy. I’ve never had to search the Internet, go store to store or get into mom fights at Wal-Mart.

Until this year.

I decided I was going to be early this year. I began my serious Christmas shopping the end of October. The week before Thanksgiving, I asked my 8-year-old what she was planning on asking for Christmas. She replied with “a Zoo Zoo pet hamster.”

Okay, I can research. I had never heard of a Zu Zu pet before, but I can Google. I went online and found Zhu Zhu Pets on Amazon. One little hamster was $69.95. Okay. Ouch. Santa can’t afford a $70 fur ball that makes sounds. A few more clicks brought me to walmart.com. Zhu Zhu Pets there were $8! Way more my, I mean Santa’s speed.

One problem.

Sold out.

Target. Sold out.

Toys R Us. Sold out.

Uh oh. Santa is in big trouble.

I scanned the Internet looking for someone who had one. Just one. My desperation began to get the best of me. As my brow became furrowed and sweat began to form, a story came on the news about Zhu Zhu Pets – this year’s hottest toy. And yes people, they are scarce.

Come on people, are there really that many of you early-birds out there that you already knew this was the hottest toy this year…before Thanksgiving?

I found about a million for sale on eBay. Yay.

Problem. They were going for over $40 each.

What?

Yes, I will confess that I watched auctions. And yes, I found one that was inflated, but wasn’t $40 and I took the dive. I’m ashamed to admit it, but yes, I purchased one. I felt relieved that Santa was going to be able to come through.

I know this is my 8-year-olds last Christmas believing in Santa. I’m surprised we made it this far. I LOVE being Santa. It has been a favorite moment of parenting for me. The myth of Santa brings out hope, joy and magic. What would the world be like if Santa existed today? One night a year, you could make a wish and have it come true.

I have cherished every year of being Santa for my girls. I wanted Santa to go out with a bang. Bring an unattainable toy to my hopeful little girl.

I have felt good that Santa did his magic and will deliver Christmas Eve night one more time. Yes, I got caught up in the craze, but I didn’t get overly crazy.

I bought a yellow hamster for my daughter. Yellow is her favorite color.

As I was waiting for it to arrive in the mail, she informed me that she isn’t interested in the yellow hamster. She wants a brown one called Mr. Squiggles.

Santa, oh Santa, how will you pull this off? You bought a stupid yellow one, when she really wants the uber-cool brown one. Damn.

My daughter flatly told me the other night that I’m really Santa, because I stay up later than her. I asked her what made her think that. She didn’t really respond. I decided to have some fun with her and I told her that her precious Zhu Zhu Pets are unavailable everywhere. I can’t buy her one for Christmas. Santa’s the man for that. I told her to ask Santa for a hamster and see what happens, because dear old mom can’t find them anywhere. She began to believe a little bit.

I wanted to play with her one more time. Just one more Christmas with a Santa visit. Then I’ll come clean. I promise.

Then today, as I was finishing up my Christmas shopping with my 4-year-old at Target, we found the Zhu-Zhu Pets house. I grabbed one as if there were others around me. Stalking the Zhu-Zhu Pet house. But no one else seemed interested.

No actual Zhu-Zhu Pets in stock, but now Santa had a house for the uncool yellow hamster.

Stop.

Little sister knows I bought the house. Santa didn’t. Damn.

I asked my brother to look at the Target near his house for Zhu Zhu Pet stock. He told me people at Target laugh at people inquiring about Zhu Zhu Pets.

He called me this afternoon to let me know that his Target had a bunch of little rodents in stock. I told him to get the brown one. The brown one! Then I heard my niece in the background. She knows he is buying the brown one for my daughter. Damn. Shit. And damn! (Yes kids, Santa cusses when caught up in the moment.)

I’m still not sure how I’ll pull of a gift from Santa this year. Santa may have to just come clean and admit that he doesn’t exist. But Zhu Zhu Pets do. And they are now available in select locations.

Goodbye Santa. And the Easter Bunny. And the tooth fairy. And maybe a few menacing leprechauns. It’s been a lot of fun. We will hopefully have you for a few more years for little sister. As long as big sister isn’t a blabbermouth.

My husband and my brother think I’m crazy. Any ideas for me? I have built a house of Zhu Zhu cards that is crumbling at every turn.