img_5529_2After many scheduling conflicts and acts of heroism, I finally met up with a dear and wonderful friend today. I won’t say “old” friend but we have been friends for a long time.

It was very important that we connected this week – she is moving to New York City on Sunday for an amazing job opportunity. She informed me a few weeks ago that she had gotten a job offer and was moving from Colorado to New York. I was at the least shocked. Not shocked that she had received a job offer, but shocked that she was moving to New York.

Without her family.

Her husband and four girls are going to stay in Colorado for now and potentially move out to NY next summer. Her oldest is in 8th grade, her youngest is in 3rd. Yes, she will travel back occasionally to visit them and sure she has Skype set up to chat every evening with them. But this move, this change made me stop and think.

Would I take a job across the country and leave my husband and children behind? I answered almost an immediate no. I have a hard time leaving them for an afternoon out. I desperately seek time for myself but I miss them when we are separated. I couldn’t imagine missing them in their Halloween costumes, hugging and kissing them every night before bed, volunteering in their classrooms. Holidays, outings, playtime, anytime. I couldn’t do it.

I was really curious to hear about the new job, the move and how their family was handling it all. I really wanted to hear how she planned to forge on ahead. Take on a new adventure without the family in tow.

We had a wonderful visit (too short of course) and caught up this afternoon.

She talked about how karma seemed to have stepped in and everything was fitting in place. How she was excited to take on this new adventure and role. She told me about her interviews and how it had all fit into place. The job holds a lot of great benefits and challenges. And New York City – I’ve never been, but the thought of living in the midst of diverse food, culture, people and music is so exciting.

I was envious. My chosen path seemed to pale in comparison.

Not envious in the hateful kind of way. I was excited. I yearned for a new experience to lay ahead of me. An adventure and new places to explore. I grew up in Colorado. I’ve never lived anyplace else. I tried to go out of state for college, but somehow fate and the path that lie before me kept pulling me back.

My friend is excited and feeling good about her decision. But of course, she is a mother and is worried she is being selfish. I think she is being strong and following her path in life. I think she is teaching her girls that is important to follow your heart and follow your mind. Her career is taking center stage in her life right now, but it doesn’t mean the girls take the back seat.

Technology will help bridge the distance. Tools such as Skype, email and scanners will help her see and chat with the girls every night, they can scan homework and email it for homework help.

Finding the calling. Finding the balance. Settling on a path while keeping a strong sense of yourself and balancing that with your families’ needs. It is an almost impossible task. The most important thing we can do is support each other as women and mothers. We must make decisions based on our own lives and beliefs and support the women in our lives when they do the same.

Along with my big-time New York friend, I also have a friend who just opened a dance studio, a friend who is following her dream of being an artist and another friend who is happy as a stay at home mom. I am so proud of all of them for figuring out what they need and want in life and following their path.

I feel I’m still finding my path. I still ask myself what I want to be when I grow up. I am envious of the New York job, but I think I’m more envious of the discovered path.

I love being a mom. I love being a professional. I feel like I spend more time and energy balancing motherhood with my professional life and my life vs actually finding which direction I want to take. My path, like others, has had many twists and turns. Even though I don’t feel like I’m on a clear path, I am on the path that I chose to follow.

New York is not for me, at least not now. Colorado is the place for me, for now. Motherhood and my career path are going where I want them to head. I’m willing to wait for the adventure. Or maybe just live vicariously through my friend.

Good luck in New York, D. I love you and will miss you being just up the hill. Go knock ‘em dead in New York.