MomBabyGiraffeI’m having my own pity party today. My husband found out that his company is re-locating to downtown Denver. The change will add about 30 minutes to a commute that is currently 10 minutes.

This changes a lot for us. He can no longer just run in to work for a short time or run home when needed. He will no longer be able to help me with kid transportation. He won’t be home in the morning to help prep the kids for school and he won’t be home until dinnertime or later.

I think I just became a weekday single parent. I know many moms do this regularly, but having my husband more available has spoiled me.

My husband is an amazing man. He works full time, makes dinner most nights, folds laundry, does dishes, coaches soccer and drives bedtime while I work and catch up with my duties. I’m so very thankful for everything he does and everything he is.

But I can’t help but feeling like I am the driving force in our family. I meal plan, do the majority of driving kids, do all the shopping, majority of cleaning, family event planning, school volunteering, etc etc. And I work at a job 20 hours a week.

I know I know, what I wrote above is a basic job description for “mother.”

It’s hard. It’s really hard. And it’s about to get harder. Some of my husband’s duties are moving back over to my plate.

I sneak in time for myself here and there. Mom meet-ups, job requirements, haircuts (oh wait, that’s usually with kids in tow).

I can’t help but miss my life pre-children. I miss my friends. I miss meeting for coffee without a play date attached. How much connecting and chatting can you do while chasing children?

I miss sitting and reading a book without interruption.

I do love motherhood on most days. I love hugging, kissing, snuggling my girls. I love watching them grow and learn new things. I don’t know what I would do without them. I can’t believe how much love I have for each one of my children. It doesn’t seem humanly possible.

Life moves way too fast now. I feel like I’m in constant motion all the time. I also feel like I can’t multitask enough just to keep my head above water. If I’m playing with my kids, I feel guilty for not cleaning the house or working. If I’m cleaning, I feel guilty for not spending time with my kids or working. If I’m working I feel like I should be playing with my kids or cleaning.

When I’m in constant struggle to keep everything together, when do I slow down and enjoy life? I try, and we take many family field trips. I enjoy them but know that the field trip is only putting me behind in my other two major duties.

I also remind myself that someday, all of this will be over and I will yearn for the days when my kids were young.

How do you keep it all together and enjoy the ride?

Thanks for allowing me to vent.